Poem- Our Relationship

Our relationship is weak
Not enough value
Not enough to keep
Our relationship is broken into bits
Not important to piece together
So you decided to quit
Our relationship is gone and lost
Not holding any meaning
It's quickly tossed
In the end our relationship
Never existed
Just like you wished it
To drift away and be forgotten tomorrow
Our relationship
Mother to daughter

Check out Anointed Light's Blog

Please check out a blog me and friends have started-
You can find it on http://anointedlight.wordpress.com

The blog mainly documents our journey with Christ, and it will include daily post of issues that Christians go through everyday. Enjoy!

reBlog from Louisiana: Enriched Living

I found this fascinating quote today:

Let the storms of life rage on. You are sheltered from the wrath. You are not destroyed. You are anchored in the center.Louisiana, Enriched Living, Feb 2008

You should read the whole article.

Still battling, but I will prevail

The healing process I have undergone was a very hard one. Their were nights when I didn't know if I would ever move on with my life. I never thought my life could be the way that it is now. I was so hurt and angered by the abuse in my past, I slowly learned that I was not benefiting anything from resentment. I wasted years of my life hating a man that never looked back and thought about the things he has done to me. The day I called him to tell him I forgave him for all the pain he brought into my life- was one of the most nerve wrecking days in my life! My stomach turned at the thought of hearing his voice. But once I forgave him I felt an immediate weight lifted off my shoulders. Only to find out that he called my older sister to tell her our whole conversation. And in the end to say he never did ANYTHING to me. I badly wanted to call back and take it back. A good friend of mines was the voice of reason and let me know that forgiveness was for me. I needed to forgive him in order to move on. It took me 12 years to get here and I couldn't have done it without God. I have come a looong way. I rarely get upset about the abuse anymore, hopefully never get upset. I will get there in due time with God's help.

Written 2 years ago-Poem

"My heart"

I will never
forget the words you stabbed in me
Nothing could ever mend
My repeated destruction
You have stolen every piece
Of happiness and left me for dead
Your gentleness is no longer existent
Your warm voice- terminally ill
My love tarnished
My once meaningful words buried
Under the broken pieces of my
Repeated Destruction
My heart.

Written on 9/19/09- poem

"The Young Girl Who Lived In 827 P.S"

The red paint on the wall haunts me
I make my way up the steep steps
Once I make it to the top
I stand for a while and compose myself
Slowly I walk to the rusted door
It takes a few jerks-but it opens
The apartment is well lit
And yet it drowns me in it's darkness
I follow the scratches on the floor
It leads me to my childhood bedroom
Three windows but still it feels enclosed
Like a torture chamber
I sit on the floor
And place my hands by my side
Only to feel the puddle of my tear quickly being
Soaked up by my hands
It makes me shiver
You are no longer here
To physically taunt me
But unfortunately mentally
You have gained power
While I continue to sit here
I begin to feel like a 9 yr. old again
Vulnerable
Scared
Mad
And damaged
You have conveniently left
Behind the monster here
So easily- effortless
And I will forever be stuck
With this child
A child ruined
Abandoned
And left to die within herself
Over and over again.

A poem I just found hidden in my journal.

"Mother"

Your true love, the twinkle in your eye
Is my enemy, the thousand of
tears in my eye.

He loved you and made you smile
You felt special in his arms
Yet he lusted over me and made me suffer

I couldn't take it no more
So he had to leave
I was sure, "Mom would understand"

I was wrong
You accused me of lies and insanity
Your motherly instinct was suddenly non-existent

Mother, you continued to cater for him
You continued to push me down
You continued to love him
And continued to despise me more and more

Here we are 12 years later
And you do the same
You can't let him go
And you won't allow me to either

Look her and look there
Continue to look for him
Mom I needed you to make it alright
But now I'm slowly starting
To see I don't need you
To be nothing at all

You are incapable of sacrifice
You are incapable of understanding
Sadly you are incapable of loving me